You just saw “The Revenant,” your mind is blown. How did that poor Oscar-less Leonardo Dicaprio survive the harshness of winter? The maul of a bear?? The betrayal of mankind??? Is there a revenant survival guide?

I could tell this was a good movie after I slept on it, because I woke up still thinking about the outcome; I was involved.

What proved this film’s depth was its literary conflicts of interest. There was the conflict that had me at the edge of my seat: Man Vs. Nature; the conflict that gave me an eyebrow workout: Man Vs. Man; and the conflict that kept my gears turning even as I walked out of the theater: Man Vs. Self.

Would I see it again? Probably not, I’m trying to prolong forehead wrinkles before the botox kicks in at age 30. There’s probably a natural remedy for that though, so watch away!

The real question we have to ask as homesteaders is HOW THE HELL DID HE SURVIVE, AND HOW WOULD YOU!?! Granted, if you have access to the internet and the ability to read this, you’re probably not desperately fighting for your life as a trapper in the midst of unorganized U.S. Territory; beaten alive, suffocated, heart torn open both literally and figuratively, with nothing to cling to but revenge for revenge’s sake.

How To Survive “The Revenant” Like a Leo.

Let’s break it down.

Man Vs. Nature | How To Survive The Revenant

1. You’ll Need To Survive A Bear Encounter

“Sometimes a bear that feels threatened will ‘act’ aggressively to defend against a perceived threat. This is often the case with a mother bear with cubs, a bear defending a food source, or a surprise encounter. The closer you are to the bear when it becomes aware of you, the more likely it is to react defensively. The bear may pop its jaws or swat the ground with its front paw while blowing and snorting, and/or it may lunge or “bluff charge” toward you in an attempt to get you to leave.” – Survival Life – Click here for your next steps.

2. You’ll Need To Survive In Subzero Conditions

The best immediate thing you can do to avoid freezing to death is to layer up, slow your breathing and movement, and find shelter. Leo, sorry his character Hugh Glass, was wearing a giant bear pelt. Did you recognize it? It was from the bear that almost killed him. Without this, he may not have made it.

Click HERE for more tips for surviving the cold on and around your homestead.

3. You’ll Need To Light A Fire

Knowing how to light a fire without a match or lighter is a must. You can always be prepared, and carry an everstryke match with you at all times. Or you can follow one of these 26 Ways To Start A Fire Without A Match.

4. You’ll Need Shelter

Learn to build a shelter out of natural resources. So long as you’re out in the wild, there’s gotta be something good you can use. Dense forests are a bit nicer than barren deserts.

5. You’ll Need Food & Water

You’ll need to learn how to trap food with minimal supplies. Build one of these sneaky traps for survival, and you’ll learn to make a feast of the forest floor.

That takes care of food, but what about water? If you can’t find a water source like a spring or river, try a plant. This article has got your back.

Man Vs. Man | How To Survive The Revenant

So you’ve somehow managed to stay warm, beat starvation, and fight off an angry bear. Now what?

Well, you’ve still got something else standing in your way: your enemy. The man that would rather see you dead. All he sees is the dollar signs floating over your head, the cash money reward if HE gets back to camp, with or without you. What’s worse? You’re not in any kind of physical condition to fight him off.

Hugh Glass survived with his smarts, but I’ve got something else in mind: TRADE.

Think, “what could I offer to my enemy that would make him choose the trade over my life?” Why not check out one of these “101 Goods To Barter When SHTF” and see if you can think of something.

At the end of the day, wits will win. I’ve seen enough movies to say it again; the good guy will prevail!

A little self-defense can’t hurt either.

Man Vs. Self | How To Survive The Revenant

Here’s the catch. How did Hugh Glass really survive? Was it his wilderness-smarts? Was it his pure-brawn? It was more than that. It was his WILL to live.

When it all comes down to it, the only thing that can keep you breathing is yourself. You’re the one that chooses to inhale one more time, exhale one more time, repeat. It’s a mental game we play, and when more and more of who we are is stripped from us: (example: his love, his son, his health, his purpose), then what’s the point?

If you’re ever lost in the wild my best advice is to have a point; have a purpose. Focus on something, anything.

Glass’ goal was revenge. He needed to slay the man who single-handedly ruined his life.

So what happens after the revenge is won? After the purpose is reached?

*cut to black*

*roll credits*

So, what’s the verdict? Would you survive? Could you have done it? Will Leo get the Oscar? Only God knows. 

The rest of us will find out on Sunday.

For more Oscar-worthy survival tips, check out The Martian Survival Guide from our friends at Survival Life

Related:

• Foraging for Edible Wild Plants – Could You Survive? [QUIZ]
• Survive The Walking Dead [QUIZ]
• 9 Classic Cocktails For Your Oscar Party
• Unforgettable Oscar Dresses
• Look Like a Star With Thee Oscar Looks
• 4 Ways To Glam Up Your Oscar Party